2020 Pandemic Holiday Season Tips

Pandemic Holiday Season 1.0

How in the world are we supposed to navigate this holiday season given, well... 2020?!?  Not only have we had an extremely contentious election year, continued racial injustices, and environmental disasters, but we've also had an upsurge of an infectious coronavirus that has put much the world in quarantine lock-downs.  How do we find & maintain hope in the midst of all this?

COVID-19 has brought out the best and worst in all of us.  While it's given us the opportunity to prioritize healthy and safety over freedoms, we also see how it's been used as a political weapon.  While many of us have dramatically altered our behaviors, there are others who have dug in their heals to deny or minimize its impact.  And there's been a plethora of judgements and projections in all directions.

Celebrating the Holidays Differently

In the United States, we're now being encouraged by the US Center for Disease Control & Prevention to stay home and only be with those that are in our households for Thanksgiving.  If we choose to celebrate with others outside of our households and travel to do so, they are a myriad of extra precautions we're being advised to take in order to minimize, not eliminate, the risk of infection.  These are literally life and death decisions this holiday season in 2020.  Risk factors are constantly changing depending on the area of the world we live in, current infection rates, hospitalizations and COVID death rates.

This is A LOT to navigate, especially when others we care about have different needs and levels of risk-aversiveness than us.

Reducing Risk without Eliminating Risk

Of course the only way to have zero risk of contracting/spreading COVID is staying home 100% of the time with others in our households who do the same.  However, there are other ways of reducing risks.

By now we all know the 3 main ways to reduce risk of COVID infection:

1. Masking:  wear a mask (with 2-3 layers) correctly
2. Physical Distancing: stay at least 6 feet away (about 2 arm lengths) from others not in our households
3. Hand hygiene: wash our hands for at least 20 seconds or use hand sanitizer with at least 60% alcohol when we don't have access to a faucet/soap

​There are additional ways that we can substantially reduce risk, especially in combination:

1. Quarantining for 10-14 days prior to and after seeing others we don't live with
2. Testing at least 3-5 days, sometimes longer, after potential exposures
3. Being outside, especially while wearing masks, physical distancing & having hand hygiene
4. Limiting our time with others
5. Limiting the amount of guests & households at one event
6. Cleaning and disinfecting high touch surfaces
7. Creating airflow, like fully opening doors & windows
8. Staggering bathroom use
9. Bringing our own utensils
10. Individualizing meals instead of using a buffet style or passing dishes

How to Communicate Boundaries in 2020

Communicating boundaries clearly and effectively can create additional safety measures, reduce anxiety and express love so you can enjoy your time together:

1. ​Having a proactive conversation in advance of getting together can reduce conflict and deepen intimacy.  This can entail describing our overall level of risk-aversiveness and ways we've tried to mitigate our exposure to the virus while also asking specific questions about those that are likely to be in attendance.  Also, what specific measures are they taking to reduce the risk of infection and spread at their event or gathering?
2. Asserting our needs by asking for what we want to help us feel more safe, less anxious and therefore more present is a key ingredient.  This may help all parties involved get closer to something that works well enough for everyone.  Know what our deal breakers are that we're not willing to compromise on so we can express them in a caring but clear way.
3. We get to say, "No" with kindness and care, at any point along the way.  This may be that we plan to spend time with others but have to cancel at the last minute due to new concerns.  It also may be that we go but then realize that boundaries are not being attended to in agreed upon ways or that we find out new information about the lack of health precautions others have taken that they didn't share in advance.

Creative Ways to Celebrate the Holidays in 2020

Thankfully, there are a myriad of ways to celebrate the holidays:

• ​Zoom is offering extended webcam sessions on the holidays (over 45 minutes) for those that want extra time.
• Having a meal, playing a game, watching a movie and/or expressing gratitude via webcam
• Cooking a meal and delivering it safely to loved ones in your local area
• Sending a meal and/or dessert to loved ones far away
• Donating a gift in honor of a loved one to provide education to those in low-income communities, or cure unnecessary cataract blindness with those from underserved areas of the world.

What other creative ways are you celebrating?  (Leave in the comment section below)

​Interview on Channel Q Radio: 
​Coping with Pandemic Blues & Seasonal Depression

Seasonal Affective Disorder (now called Major Depressive Disorder with a Seasonal Pattern) affects 66 million US Americans, 10 million of which have severe symptoms that get in the way of functioning on a day to day basis.

As the days get colder, darker and shorter our bodies produce less serotonin, melatonin and Vitamin D that can throw off our circadian rhythms, sleep-waking cycles and mood.  We often cope with less exercise, more alcohol and sugar/carbs during the winter months that can exacerbate our symptoms of irritability, fatigue, lack of libido, difficulty concentrating and overall lower mood/energy.

Thankfully, there are treatments including light therapy (10,000 lux light boxes) we can view for 30-90 minutes a day, often in the morning and/or spread out throughout the day.  Simple solutions like moving our desk/chair near a window and going outside daily can help too.  Of course the more we're able to have regular exercise, good nutrition, adequate sleep and social support the better we can cope with mood and anxiety shifts when they occur. 

Surviving or Thriving During the Holidays

There are so many expectations of the Holiday Season, including:

• pressure to be merry/happy
• pressure to be with family that may be toxic or less than ideal
• pressure to travel
• pressure to give gifts
• pressure to attend work events
• pressure to spend money

When these PRESSURES don't match our lived experience we can feel despondent, grief, lonely, stressed and depressed.

Remember, it's okay to feel what you feel, and in fact it's important to do so otherwise it likely will get louder or last longer than it otherwise would.  When we care for ourselves by allowing and learning from our feelings, we provide the antidote to what ails us.

We can also set realistic expectations for ways that we'd like to participate in holiday experiences, if at all.  We get to say no.  We get to initiate with others we'd actually like to spend time with.  We get to prioritize our time and organize ourselves in ways that sets us up for being present with whatever does exist.

Navigating Holiday Drama

Family, friend or partner drama can happen during the holidays too. 
Here are some tips:

1. Acknowledge the family conflict and estrangement that exists
2. Pre-plan an exit strategy if things get out of hand or become to toxic
3. Set and maintain boundaries that are appropriate for the situation
4. Prioritize self-care so that we can be operating at our best when facing drama
5. Update our social contracts with those we spend time with that's based on our current self-awareness

New Year's Resolutions

We're much more likely to reach goals if we set them in the first place.  The beginning of the year is one of the many times to do so but how we set them up contributes to our likelihood of accomplishing and maintaining them.

There's a helpful acronym to use when setting goals, called S.M.A.R.T.:
​

• Specific:  Be clear and unambiguous.  Sometimes it’s helpful to answer the 5 W Questions of what, why, who, where, and when.
• Measurable:  Set measurable outcomes. Make sure we know whether we're making progress and the goal is attained.
• Attainable:  Is it realistic & achievable to accomplish?  If not, change it.
• Relevant:  Is it important and in alignment with my core values?
• Time-bound:  Having a specific time-frame for our goal helps to keep things in focus & have some accountability for it. Is this a one time goal or something we want to sustain & maintain for a longer period of time?

Happy Holidays!!!

I wish you all Happy Holidays, that is, if you celebrate them.