Mindfulness Resources
Mindfulness with Compassion
What is mindfulness, and how do we actually use it in everyday life? At its core, mindfulness is the practice of bringing our attention to what is happening right now with curiosity, openness, and compassion. That may sound simple, but many of us spend much of our lives several steps ahead of ourselves, anticipating what might go wrong, replaying what has already happened, or trying to solve problems that haven’t even occurred yet.
Mindfulness offers another way of relating to those experiences. Rather than trying to stop thinking, eliminate anxiety, or achieve a perfectly calm state of mind, we learn to notice what is happening within us as it unfolds. We might become aware of tension in the body, a familiar anxious thought, a feeling we’ve been avoiding, or the impulse to immediately react to something uncomfortable. That awareness can create a little more space between what we’re experiencing and what we do next.
This is one reason I often incorporate mindfulness into therapy for anxiety, stress, perfectionism, relationship difficulties, and emotional overwhelm. Mindfulness can help us recognize patterns earlier and become more aware of our thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, needs, and habitual ways of responding.
But mindfulness isn’t simply about awareness. Compassion matters, too. We can learn to notice when we’re judging ourselves, pushing ourselves too hard, disconnecting from our bodies, or believing we should be handling things better than we are. Instead of immediately trying to fix what we find, we can begin with curiosity: This is what I’m experiencing right now. Can I meet it with some kindness?
For me, mindfulness is most meaningful when it becomes something we live, not simply something we practice during meditation. It can happen while walking, having a difficult conversation, sitting with uncertainty, noticing anxiety before an important meeting, or realizing we’ve been moving through the day without feeling connected to ourselves.
Throughout this page, you’ll find resources exploring what mindfulness is, how it can help with stress and anxiety, how mindfulness meditation works, and how self-compassion and mindful awareness can become part of everyday life. The goal isn’t to practice mindfulness perfectly. It’s to develop a kinder, more curious relationship with your own experience and, little by little, live with greater presence.
Mindfulness offers another way of relating to those experiences. Rather than trying to stop thinking, eliminate anxiety, or achieve a perfectly calm state of mind, we learn to notice what is happening within us as it unfolds. We might become aware of tension in the body, a familiar anxious thought, a feeling we’ve been avoiding, or the impulse to immediately react to something uncomfortable. That awareness can create a little more space between what we’re experiencing and what we do next.
This is one reason I often incorporate mindfulness into therapy for anxiety, stress, perfectionism, relationship difficulties, and emotional overwhelm. Mindfulness can help us recognize patterns earlier and become more aware of our thoughts, emotions, physical sensations, needs, and habitual ways of responding.
But mindfulness isn’t simply about awareness. Compassion matters, too. We can learn to notice when we’re judging ourselves, pushing ourselves too hard, disconnecting from our bodies, or believing we should be handling things better than we are. Instead of immediately trying to fix what we find, we can begin with curiosity: This is what I’m experiencing right now. Can I meet it with some kindness?
For me, mindfulness is most meaningful when it becomes something we live, not simply something we practice during meditation. It can happen while walking, having a difficult conversation, sitting with uncertainty, noticing anxiety before an important meeting, or realizing we’ve been moving through the day without feeling connected to ourselves.
Throughout this page, you’ll find resources exploring what mindfulness is, how it can help with stress and anxiety, how mindfulness meditation works, and how self-compassion and mindful awareness can become part of everyday life. The goal isn’t to practice mindfulness perfectly. It’s to develop a kinder, more curious relationship with your own experience and, little by little, live with greater presence.
What is Mindfulness?
Mindfulness is being aware in the present moment, with curiosity, not judgment.
Mindfulness Described
Mindfulness is a little like an unfiltered mirror. It allows us to see what is actually happening as it’s happening, here and now, without immediately layering our usual judgments, stories, expectations, and assumptions on top of the experience. Instead of getting swept away by what we think should be happening, what we wish were different, or what we fear might happen next, mindfulness invites us to become curious about what is already here.
When we slow down enough to notice our experience with openness and compassion, we may become aware of the tension we’ve been carrying in our body, the anxiety underneath our need to stay busy, the hurt beneath our anger, or a familiar thought pattern pulling us toward self-criticism. Mindfulness doesn’t require us to get rid of any of these experiences. It helps us see them more clearly.
And that clarity creates more room for choice. Instead of automatically following an anxious thought, shutting down during a difficult conversation, criticizing ourselves for how we feel, or repeating an old pattern simply because it’s familiar, we have an opportunity to respond differently. We can ask ourselves: What am I actually feeling right now? What do I need? What would it be like to stay present with this rather than immediately trying to escape, fix, or judge it?
The circumstances around us may not have changed, and the difficult feeling may still be there, but our relationship to the experience can change. We become less controlled by our automatic reactions and more able to respond thoughtfully and authentically. Over time, this awareness can also deepen compassion, both for ourselves and for the fear, vulnerability, longing, and imperfection we recognize in other people.
When we slow down enough to notice our experience with openness and compassion, we may become aware of the tension we’ve been carrying in our body, the anxiety underneath our need to stay busy, the hurt beneath our anger, or a familiar thought pattern pulling us toward self-criticism. Mindfulness doesn’t require us to get rid of any of these experiences. It helps us see them more clearly.
And that clarity creates more room for choice. Instead of automatically following an anxious thought, shutting down during a difficult conversation, criticizing ourselves for how we feel, or repeating an old pattern simply because it’s familiar, we have an opportunity to respond differently. We can ask ourselves: What am I actually feeling right now? What do I need? What would it be like to stay present with this rather than immediately trying to escape, fix, or judge it?
The circumstances around us may not have changed, and the difficult feeling may still be there, but our relationship to the experience can change. We become less controlled by our automatic reactions and more able to respond thoughtfully and authentically. Over time, this awareness can also deepen compassion, both for ourselves and for the fear, vulnerability, longing, and imperfection we recognize in other people.
Mindfulness Podcast Series
Prefer to listen? Explore this four-part mindfulness podcast series, with episodes on reducing stress, breaking habits, mindfulness meditation, and self-compassion.
Using Mindfulness to Reduce Stress
Stress can quickly pull us into automatic reactions. We may rush through what we’re doing, become scattered or overwhelmed, procrastinate, shut down, or push ourselves harder in an attempt to regain control.
Mindfulness gives us an opportunity to interrupt that pattern. Even a few minutes of noticing what is happening in our body, thoughts, and emotions can help us understand what we need and respond with greater intention.
Imagine you’re in the middle of a demanding day. You have a deadline approaching, you’re behind where you hoped to be, and you can feel the stress building. Rather than simply pushing through, you might pause and begin by noticing what is happening.
1. Begin: Notice How You're Holding Stress
Start with the body. Without immediately trying to change anything, notice what is happening physically.
Are your shoulders tense? Is your jaw tight? Has your breathing become shallow? Is there discomfort in your stomach or chest? Do you feel restless, depleted, or physically braced?
There is nothing you need to fix yet. The first step is simply becoming curious about what your body may already be communicating.
2. Respond: Attend to What Your Body Needs
Once you’ve noticed what is happening physically, consider whether there is a small way to respond with care. You might take a slower breath, relax your shoulders, adjust your posture, stand and stretch, drink some water, or recognize that you need food or a brief pause.
The goal isn't to force yourself to become calm. Instead, you're responding to the information your body is giving you.
As you do this, notice whether anything changes. The stress may soften, or it may still be present. Either response is okay. Mindfulness allows us to work with our experience rather than ignoring it, fighting against it, or becoming completely swept up in it.
Mindfulness gives us an opportunity to interrupt that pattern. Even a few minutes of noticing what is happening in our body, thoughts, and emotions can help us understand what we need and respond with greater intention.
Imagine you’re in the middle of a demanding day. You have a deadline approaching, you’re behind where you hoped to be, and you can feel the stress building. Rather than simply pushing through, you might pause and begin by noticing what is happening.
1. Begin: Notice How You're Holding Stress
Start with the body. Without immediately trying to change anything, notice what is happening physically.
Are your shoulders tense? Is your jaw tight? Has your breathing become shallow? Is there discomfort in your stomach or chest? Do you feel restless, depleted, or physically braced?
There is nothing you need to fix yet. The first step is simply becoming curious about what your body may already be communicating.
2. Respond: Attend to What Your Body Needs
Once you’ve noticed what is happening physically, consider whether there is a small way to respond with care. You might take a slower breath, relax your shoulders, adjust your posture, stand and stretch, drink some water, or recognize that you need food or a brief pause.
The goal isn't to force yourself to become calm. Instead, you're responding to the information your body is giving you.
As you do this, notice whether anything changes. The stress may soften, or it may still be present. Either response is okay. Mindfulness allows us to work with our experience rather than ignoring it, fighting against it, or becoming completely swept up in it.
3. Notice: Explore the Thoughts and Feelings Beneath the Stress
Once you’ve noticed what is happening in your body, bring the same curiosity to your thoughts and emotions. What are you feeling? What are you telling yourself about what is happening? What feels threatening or especially important about this situation?
In our deadline example, you might notice fear about not finishing your work or disappointing someone. Beneath that fear may be a familiar belief: If I don’t perform well, I’ll let people down. They may think less of me. Maybe I’ll think less of myself.
Sometimes our reactions in the present are connected to experiences we’ve had in the past. Perhaps mistakes were met with criticism or shame, or achievement became connected to feeling valued, accepted, or worthy. Over time, perfectionism may have developed as a way of protecting ourselves from experiencing those painful feelings again.
Mindfulness allows us to notice these connections without assuming every stressful reaction has a deeper explanation. Sometimes a deadline is simply stressful. But when a reaction feels especially intense or familiar, curiosity can help us understand what else might be contributing to it.
4. Respond with Compassion: Loosen the Grip of Perfectionism
When we recognize a pattern like perfectionism, the goal isn’t to judge ourselves for having it. These patterns often developed for understandable reasons. At some point, striving, staying vigilant, or holding ourselves to exceptionally high standards may have helped us feel safer, more valued, or more in control.
We can appreciate what that pattern has tried to do for us while also noticing when it is no longer helping. Instead of adding another layer of self-criticism, we might ask: What would I say to someone I care about if they were feeling this overwhelmed or afraid of falling short?
Perhaps the response is something like: I don’t have to do this perfectly. I can make mistakes and learn from them. My worth isn’t determined by how well I perform in this moment.
The deadline is still there, and some stress may remain. Mindfulness isn't necessarily about eliminating that stress. It can help us distinguish between the stress that gives us energy to respond to a challenge and the additional suffering created by fear, perfectionism, and self-criticism. From there, we may be better able to return to what needs our attention with greater steadiness and self-compassion.
Once you’ve noticed what is happening in your body, bring the same curiosity to your thoughts and emotions. What are you feeling? What are you telling yourself about what is happening? What feels threatening or especially important about this situation?
In our deadline example, you might notice fear about not finishing your work or disappointing someone. Beneath that fear may be a familiar belief: If I don’t perform well, I’ll let people down. They may think less of me. Maybe I’ll think less of myself.
Sometimes our reactions in the present are connected to experiences we’ve had in the past. Perhaps mistakes were met with criticism or shame, or achievement became connected to feeling valued, accepted, or worthy. Over time, perfectionism may have developed as a way of protecting ourselves from experiencing those painful feelings again.
Mindfulness allows us to notice these connections without assuming every stressful reaction has a deeper explanation. Sometimes a deadline is simply stressful. But when a reaction feels especially intense or familiar, curiosity can help us understand what else might be contributing to it.
4. Respond with Compassion: Loosen the Grip of Perfectionism
When we recognize a pattern like perfectionism, the goal isn’t to judge ourselves for having it. These patterns often developed for understandable reasons. At some point, striving, staying vigilant, or holding ourselves to exceptionally high standards may have helped us feel safer, more valued, or more in control.
We can appreciate what that pattern has tried to do for us while also noticing when it is no longer helping. Instead of adding another layer of self-criticism, we might ask: What would I say to someone I care about if they were feeling this overwhelmed or afraid of falling short?
Perhaps the response is something like: I don’t have to do this perfectly. I can make mistakes and learn from them. My worth isn’t determined by how well I perform in this moment.
The deadline is still there, and some stress may remain. Mindfulness isn't necessarily about eliminating that stress. It can help us distinguish between the stress that gives us energy to respond to a challenge and the additional suffering created by fear, perfectionism, and self-criticism. From there, we may be better able to return to what needs our attention with greater steadiness and self-compassion.
Using Mindfulness to Understand Habits
Habits often make sense when we look beyond the behavior itself. We may reach for something comforting when we’re stressed, avoid a task when we’re afraid of failing, scroll through our phones when we feel restless, or fall into familiar relationship patterns when we feel vulnerable.
Mindfulness gives us an opportunity to become curious about what happens just before the habitual response. What are we feeling in our body? What emotion is present? What are we hoping the behavior will provide or help us avoid?
Rather than immediately labeling a habit as “bad” or trying to force ourselves to stop, we can begin by understanding the role it plays. Some habits offer temporary relief, distraction, comfort, control, or protection, even when they create problems for us over time.
That awareness creates more room for choice. We may still feel the pull of the familiar behavior, but we can begin to ask: What am I needing right now? Is there another way I might respond to that need?
Changing a habit often takes time. Mindfulness isn't about perfectly controlling our behavior. It's about becoming more aware of the moments in which we have a choice and learning to meet ourselves with curiosity and compassion as we practice something different.
Mindfulness gives us an opportunity to become curious about what happens just before the habitual response. What are we feeling in our body? What emotion is present? What are we hoping the behavior will provide or help us avoid?
Rather than immediately labeling a habit as “bad” or trying to force ourselves to stop, we can begin by understanding the role it plays. Some habits offer temporary relief, distraction, comfort, control, or protection, even when they create problems for us over time.
That awareness creates more room for choice. We may still feel the pull of the familiar behavior, but we can begin to ask: What am I needing right now? Is there another way I might respond to that need?
Changing a habit often takes time. Mindfulness isn't about perfectly controlling our behavior. It's about becoming more aware of the moments in which we have a choice and learning to meet ourselves with curiosity and compassion as we practice something different.
Mindfulness, the Body, and Hakomi
Mindfulness doesn't only help us become more aware of our thoughts. Our bodies can also give us important information about what we're experiencing, sometimes before we have words for it.
We might notice our shoulders tightening during a difficult conversation, a feeling of heaviness when we think about something we've been avoiding, an impulse to pull away when someone gets emotionally close, or a sense of ease when something feels genuinely right for us. These experiences aren't necessarily messages we need to interpret literally, but they can give us another place to become curious.
This is one reason I’ve been drawn to Hakomi, a mindfulness-based, experiential approach to psychotherapy that includes attention to the body. Rather than relying only on talking about our experiences, Hakomi can help us notice physical sensations, emotions, impulses, and other aspects of our present-moment experience as we explore patterns that may otherwise be difficult to recognize.
For me, this reflects something important about mindfulness more broadly: awareness involves more than what we think. Learning to listen to our emotions and bodies, with curiosity rather than judgment, can deepen our understanding of ourselves.
We might notice our shoulders tightening during a difficult conversation, a feeling of heaviness when we think about something we've been avoiding, an impulse to pull away when someone gets emotionally close, or a sense of ease when something feels genuinely right for us. These experiences aren't necessarily messages we need to interpret literally, but they can give us another place to become curious.
This is one reason I’ve been drawn to Hakomi, a mindfulness-based, experiential approach to psychotherapy that includes attention to the body. Rather than relying only on talking about our experiences, Hakomi can help us notice physical sensations, emotions, impulses, and other aspects of our present-moment experience as we explore patterns that may otherwise be difficult to recognize.
For me, this reflects something important about mindfulness more broadly: awareness involves more than what we think. Learning to listen to our emotions and bodies, with curiosity rather than judgment, can deepen our understanding of ourselves.
Mindfulness Articles
What Is Mindfulness?
Mindfulness is more than simply being present. Explore how curiosity, awareness, and compassion can help us relate differently to our thoughts, emotions, and everyday experiences. |
How to Begin Practicing Mindfulness
Mindfulness doesn’t require long meditation sessions or a perfectly calm mind. Learn simple ways to begin bringing greater awareness and compassion into everyday life. |
Mindfulness gives us enough space to notice what we're experiencing, listen to what we need, and choose how we want to respond.
Mindfulness in Everyday Life
Explore short videos on applying mindfulness to communication, balance, relationships, and everyday challenges.
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Respond to Your Body with Compassion
Awareness alone can sometimes become another form of self-monitoring. The deeper invitation is to bring compassion to what we discover.
If you notice shame about your body, fear about gaining weight, rigid rules around food, or a pattern you wish were different, see if you can resist turning that discovery into another reason to criticize yourself.
Instead, become curious about what the pattern may have been trying to provide. Perhaps control when life felt uncertain. Relief when you were overwhelmed. Acceptance when you feared rejection. Or hope that changing your appearance would change how you felt about yourself.
Compassion doesn’t mean that we stop caring for ourselves or that we never make changes. It means those changes don’t have to begin with the belief that something is fundamentally wrong with us.
We can begin paying attention to our bodies with greater respect: noticing hunger and fullness, fatigue and energy, tension and ease, pleasure and discomfort. Rather than forcing the body to conform to an ideal, we can develop a more collaborative relationship with it.
Sometimes the most meaningful change isn’t finally achieving the “right” body. It’s learning that our bodies don’t have to earn our care.
If you notice shame about your body, fear about gaining weight, rigid rules around food, or a pattern you wish were different, see if you can resist turning that discovery into another reason to criticize yourself.
Instead, become curious about what the pattern may have been trying to provide. Perhaps control when life felt uncertain. Relief when you were overwhelmed. Acceptance when you feared rejection. Or hope that changing your appearance would change how you felt about yourself.
Compassion doesn’t mean that we stop caring for ourselves or that we never make changes. It means those changes don’t have to begin with the belief that something is fundamentally wrong with us.
We can begin paying attention to our bodies with greater respect: noticing hunger and fullness, fatigue and energy, tension and ease, pleasure and discomfort. Rather than forcing the body to conform to an ideal, we can develop a more collaborative relationship with it.
Sometimes the most meaningful change isn’t finally achieving the “right” body. It’s learning that our bodies don’t have to earn our care.
Using Mindfulness to Improve Communication
Difficult conversations can quickly pull us into familiar reactions. We may become defensive, withdraw, criticize, try harder to be understood, or lose sight of what we actually want to communicate.
Mindfulness creates a little space between what we’re experiencing and how we respond. One framework that can help is RAIN:
Recognize what’s happening
Notice what is occurring inside you. What are you feeling? What is happening in your body? What thoughts or assumptions are appearing? What are you wanting from the other person?
Allow the experience to be there
Before trying to fix the feeling or act on it, see if you can let yourself acknowledge what is present. I’m hurt. I’m scared. I feel dismissed. I want to pull away.
Investigate with curiosity and kindness
Become curious about your reaction. Why does this feel especially important? Is something familiar being activated? What do you need, and what might the other person need?
Nurture yourself with compassion
Rather than becoming completely identified with the story your mind is telling, offer yourself some kindness. You can take your experience seriously without assuming that every thought or interpretation is necessarily the whole truth.
Mindfulness doesn’t guarantee that conversations will go smoothly. It can, however, help us communicate from a place of greater awareness rather than simply reacting from hurt, fear, or defensiveness.
Mindfulness creates a little space between what we’re experiencing and how we respond. One framework that can help is RAIN:
Recognize what’s happening
Notice what is occurring inside you. What are you feeling? What is happening in your body? What thoughts or assumptions are appearing? What are you wanting from the other person?
Allow the experience to be there
Before trying to fix the feeling or act on it, see if you can let yourself acknowledge what is present. I’m hurt. I’m scared. I feel dismissed. I want to pull away.
Investigate with curiosity and kindness
Become curious about your reaction. Why does this feel especially important? Is something familiar being activated? What do you need, and what might the other person need?
Nurture yourself with compassion
Rather than becoming completely identified with the story your mind is telling, offer yourself some kindness. You can take your experience seriously without assuming that every thought or interpretation is necessarily the whole truth.
Mindfulness doesn’t guarantee that conversations will go smoothly. It can, however, help us communicate from a place of greater awareness rather than simply reacting from hurt, fear, or defensiveness.
Compassion Meditation
If you’d like support exploring these patterns in your own life, therapy can offer a space to do that with greater curiosity, compassion, and care.