5 to 1 Magic Relationship Ratio

9/27/2021

Feed Relationships with Positive Experiences

The Magic Relationship Ratio for stable and happy relationships is 5 positive interactions (or more) for every 1 negative one. (Credit for Research on Magic Ratio: @gottmaninstitute & Robert Levenson)

It can be surprising to hear this but based on our self-protective negativity bias as humans we tend to focus on the negative for longer periods of time.

That’s why infusing plenty of positive experiences is that much more important.

Happy and stable relationships have 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative one.

Positive Interactions:

Expressing love and gratitude
Active and engaged listening
Playfulness, lightness and fun
Expressing affection and interest
Demonstrating they matter
Empathizing and apologizing

Negative Interactions:

Being overly critical
Being defensive and closed off
Dismissive body language
Constantly complaining
Invalidating feelings
Expressing contempt

Negative interactions are inevitable in relationships but happier relationships balance them out with far more positive interactions.

Because humans have a self-protective bias toward focusing on the negative, we need far more positive interactions than negative ones.

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1 Comment

relationship counseling link

1/23/2023 02:30:57 am

There are many excuses that we can use to keep ourselves from healthy relationships. We may tell ourselves that we're too busy, that we don't need anyone, or that we're not ready for a relationship. However, these excuses are usually just masking our fear of intimacy and commitment. If we're honest with ourselves, we'll see that we're usually just afraid of getting hurt.