Opportunities for Growth
Trauma shatters our lives in so many profound ways.
While it takes tremendous effort to heal, it can also produce some incredible opportunities for growth.
Resentments Are Toxic to Relationships
Repeated experiences of slights and mistreatments that are unresolved build resentment in relationships.
When we address them along the way, they have less power over us and our relationships have a better opportunity to function at their best.
Signs of a Toxic Work Relationship
Work Friendships Are Complicated
Work friendships are often complicated with competing personal and professional needs.
We need to recognize the signs when they become toxic so that we can limit our contact or set stronger boundaries.
Signs of Losing Yourself
Neglecting Ourselves to Protect Ourselves
When life is especially painful and challenging we can lose ourselves in the process.
It’s often a defense to protect ourselves.
Take a Time Out When Needed
While we may have an urgency to resolve conflict, when things escalate too far it’s much more likely that we won’t do it well.
Instead, we need to take a break — at least 20-25 minutes — and come back at it when we’re more capable of thinking clearly.
Are you the Family Scapegoat?
Scapegoats See the Family Dysfunction
Have you felt like a lone wolf in your family that gets a lot of pressure to blend in?
Being the family scapegoat is a challenging position to be in but also gives greater freedom to chart our own course.
Good Enough is the New Perfect
Good Enough is Enough
Giving ourselves the grace of “good enough” is a gift that keeps on giving.
The irony is that we’re often able to do/be better than we otherwise would in chasing the mythical place of perfection.
Ways to Stop Future Tripping
Coming Back to the Present
It’s easy to “future trip” when our present is already so challenging.
Instead of worrying about a future that may never come to fruition, coming back to the present moment and cultivating moments of playfulness, pleasure, connection and gratitude is the antidote.
Signs of Growing up Too Fast
Why We Lose Our Childhood
When we’re forced to grow up too fast, we still have childlike needs that need to be met in adulthood.
Understanding what caused us to lose our childhood and ways to reparent ourselves in adulthood is the beginning.
How to Respond to Rude People
How We Respond Matters
Current life events can bring out the worst in others.
How we respond to people being rude has an impact on our emotional health and well-being.
Dysfunctional Societal Expectations
Why We Do What We Do
When we find ourselves doing things that ultimately drain us, it’s frequently because we’ve internalized dysfunctional societal expectations.
Reparenting Ourselves with Love
Caring for Our Inner Child
No one has a “perfect” childhood but the need to reparent ourselves is especially critical when our needs were consistently unmet.
Childhood wounds can interrupt our lives into adulthood but thankfully we can still learn, heal and grow.
Don't Feel All Your Feelings
Finding the Right Balance
Anything taken to an extreme can become problematic.
We don’t need to attend to all feelings and all thoughts.
Finding What Truly Matters
Core Values Connects Us to What Matters
When we’re connected to our life’s purpose and prioritize this in our daily lives, we live more fully.
Sign You're Codependent
Characteristics of Codependency
When we experience being codependent, we miss opportunities for more enjoyable ways of relating.
Striking a balance between independence and autonomy while also having connection and togetherness is not easy to achieve — interdependence.
Impact of Childhood Trauma
Childhood Abuse Impacts Us into Adulthood
An integral part of healing from childhood abuse is recognizing the ways that it impacts us in the present.
How to Boost Happy Hormones
Benefits of Neurotransmitters
Having our hormones in balance helps us live life more fully.
There are many things we can do to naturally boost the right amounts of chemicals in our bodies.
Introversion vs Social Anxiety
Introversion is Not Social Anxiety
We can confuse introversion with social anxiety, but they’re very different.
Introversion is a personality characteristic where we feel re-energized by spending alone time. It doesn’t mean we don’t also like being around people.
Love Triggers Us All
Relationships Activate Past Wounds
Our most intimate relationships have a way of activating our past wounds and bringing to light the areas we need to work on.
Know that while relationships can be messy they can still be worth the price of admission.
Being "Normal" is NOT the Goal
Living Our Most Authentic Lives Matters
One of the questions I get asked the most as a therapist is, “Am I normal?”
Underneath this question is often a desire to fit in, to belong, and to know that we’re not alone.
Stop Weaponizing Emotional Eating
More Compassion, Less Stigma
We’ve received so many messed up messages about food, eating, and our bodies that we can internalize these messages in harmful ways.
Instead of pathologizing and discriminating against diverse bodies, let’s appreciate all the colors of the body rainbow.
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
Imposter Syndrome Can Bring Growing Pains
One of my most memorable experiences feeling “Imposter Syndrome” was walking down the hallway of my new therapy office to greet my first client ever in private practice almost 22 years ago.
Feeling the anxiety of intense self-doubt can be paralyzing but it also can be the result of growing pains.
Toxic Positivity Doesn't Work
Toxic Positivity is a Psychological Bypass
When we deny anything considered “negative” in our lives and turn everything into a positive, we limit our natural experiences in life and we become less authentic.
Toxic positivity is fake positivity that becomes a psychological bypass over anything uncomfortable.
Healing Isn't Linear
Healing Comes With Progress & Set Backs
Healing is often a slow and steady process with plenty of setbacks.
That’s perfectly okay.
Time Doesn't Heal All Wounds
How We Use Our Time Matters
We don’t automatically heal or gain wisdom with the passing of time.
It’s how we use our lived experiences that gives us that.