Competing Needs for Autonomy versus Connection
We all have needs for independence/autonomy AND connectedness/togetherness.
These can feel like competing forces but when we integrate them in healthier ways, we experience interdependency.
Work Friendships Are Complicated
Work friendships are often complicated with competing personal and professional needs.
We need to recognize the signs when they become toxic so that we can limit our contact or set stronger boundaries.
Neglecting Ourselves to Protect Ourselves
When life is especially painful and challenging we can lose ourselves in the process.
It’s often a defense to protect ourselves.
Missing Out on Expressing Ourselves Fully
When relationships end we often look back with regret about not expressing ourselves fully.
We may not have been given the opportunity to say what we needed to or we may have limited ourselves.
Take a Time Out When Needed
While we may have an urgency to resolve conflict, when things escalate too far it’s much more likely that we won’t do it well.
Instead, we need to take a break — at least 20-25 minutes — and come back at it when we’re more capable of thinking clearly.
Scapegoats See the Family Dysfunction
Have you felt like a lone wolf in your family that gets a lot of pressure to blend in?
Being the family scapegoat is a challenging position to be in but also gives greater freedom to chart our own course.
Resolving Conflict Well Increases Intimacy
Avoiding conflict can be detrimental to relationships.
Having and resolving conflict well can lead to greater intimacy.
Good Enough is Enough
Giving ourselves the grace of “good enough” is a gift that keeps on giving.
The irony is that we’re often able to do/be better than we otherwise would in chasing the mythical place of perfection.
Spending Our Time Wisely
It’s a self-empowering act to stop chasing people but rather spend our time more wisely with people who value our presence and naturally have time/interest in reciprocating.
Qualities of a True Friend
Good friends show up, care, apologize, invest, and are loyal.
What are qualities you appreciate in your friendships?
Coming Back to the Present
It’s easy to “future trip” when our present is already so challenging.
Instead of worrying about a future that may never come to fruition, coming back to the present moment and cultivating moments of playfulness, pleasure, connection and gratitude is the antidote.