Competing Needs for Autonomy versus Connection
We all have needs for independence/autonomy AND connectedness/togetherness.
These can feel like competing forces but when we integrate them in healthier ways, we experience interdependency.
Interdependence is the integration of our needs for independence and autonomy with connectedness.
Codependence: I focus on the needs of others and neglect my own.
Healthy: I have the right to prioritize my needs while encouraging others to do the same.
Codependency: I seek love and belonging by taking care of others.
Healthy: I prioritize self-care so when I choose to give to others it's from a place of fullness.
Codependency: I'm frustrated when others don't take my advice.
Healthy: I listen with a caring ear but let others make their own choices.
Codependency: I can't have fun when others are not able to be present.
Healthy: I enjoy my own company and don't need to wait for others to enjoy life.