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Good Enough is the New Perfect

1/7/2022

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Good Enough Not Perfect

Good Enough is Enough

Giving ourselves the grace of “good enough” is a gift that keeps on giving.

The irony is that we’re often able to do/be better than we otherwise would in chasing the mythical place of perfection.

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Reparenting Ourselves with Love

12/17/2021

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Reparenting Our Inner Child

Caring for Our Inner Child

No one has a “perfect” childhood but the need to reparent ourselves is especially critical when our needs were consistently unmet.

Childhood wounds can interrupt our lives into adulthood but thankfully we can still learn, heal and grow.

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Don't Feel All Your Feelings

12/16/2021

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Emotional Regulation

Finding the Right Balance

Anything taken to an extreme can become problematic.

We don’t need to attend to all feelings and all thoughts.

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Stop Weaponizing Emotional Eating

9/26/2021

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Stop Weaponizing Emotional Eating

More Compassion, Less Stigma

We’ve received so many messed up messages about food, eating, and our bodies that we can internalize these messages in harmful ways.

Instead of pathologizing and discriminating against diverse bodies, let’s appreciate all the colors of the body rainbow.

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Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

9/24/2021

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Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

Imposter Syndrome Can Bring Growing Pains

One of my most memorable experiences feeling “Imposter Syndrome” was walking down the hallway of my new therapy office to greet my first client ever in private practice almost 22 years ago.

Feeling the anxiety of intense self-doubt can be paralyzing but it also can be the result of growing pains.

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Toxic Positivity Doesn't Work

9/23/2021

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Toxic Positivity Doesn't Work

Toxic Positivity is a Psychological Bypass

When we deny anything considered “negative” in our lives and turn everything into a positive, we limit our natural experiences in life and we become less authentic.

Toxic positivity is fake positivity that becomes a psychological bypass over anything uncomfortable.

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Healing Isn't Linear

9/21/2021

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Process of Healing

Healing Comes With Progress & Set Backs

Healing is often a slow and steady process with plenty of setbacks.

That’s perfectly okay.

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Self-Criticism Stalls Healing

9/17/2021

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Self-Criticism Stalls Healing

Self-Criticism Often Leads to Repeat Behaviors

We believe that if we punish ourselves for past behaviors, that we’ll be less likely to repeat them.

Unfortunately, the opposite is true.

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Valid Feelings Don't Justify Poor Behaviors

9/15/2021

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Valid Feelings don't Justify Poor Behaviors

Poor Behaviors Aren't Necessary

Just because we feel strongly about something doesn’t mean we have the right to treat others poorly.

This isn’t about perfection or being robotic, it’s about learning and taking responsibility for our lives

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Caring for Your Inner Child

9/14/2021

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Caring for Your Inner Child

Replacing Self-Judgment with Self-Compassion

Our “Inner Child” represents that part of ourselves that is playful, creative and yet has also been hurt.

Instead of kicking ourselves when we’re down, we can learn to console ourselves with encouragement and love.

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It's okay to Take a Break from Feeling

9/11/2021

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It's okay to take a break from feeling

Finding Balance with Our Feelings

“Feeling our feelings” can be taken to an extreme where we’re doing it 24/7.

This is about striking the right balance between overindulging & ruminating on one side and denying or ignoring on the other.

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You Are NOT What You Think

9/7/2021

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You are NOT what you think

Thoughts are Just Thoughts

You are NOT what you think!

Actually, all of us have 1000’s of thoughts per day, some of them that repeat.

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Don't Mistake Kindness for A Lack of Boundaries

9/4/2021

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Don't mistake kindness for lack of boundaries

Kindness is a Powerful Tool for Change

Being kind is too often mistaken for being nice, passive or a pushover.

Instead, kindness is a powerful tool for change.

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Ways to Respond to Your Inner Critic

8/12/2021

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Ways to respond to your Inner Critic

What is the Inner Critic?

Our Inner Critic is that part of ourselves that judges us no matter what we say or do.

It operates to protect us from rejection, embarrassment and failure but does so in a way that causes us harm.

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What Do You Need?

8/1/2021

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What do you need?

Needs Matter

We can’t possibly meet ALL of our own needs.

We are ALL interconnected.

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Why Am I Drawn to Unavailable People?

7/26/2021

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Why am I drawn to unavailable people?

Exploring our Blind Spots

If we want to be in a long term relationship but keep finding ourselves with someone who isn’t available, it’s likely there’s something unconscious going on.

The more we can be curious, instead of judgmental, the more we can look at our blind spots to increase self-awareness about this dynamic and make subsequent changes.

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Attend to Your Inner Hurt Child

7/16/2021

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Don't Let Your Hurt Child Run Your Adult Life

Don't Let Your Hurt Child Run Your Adult Life

How we show up for our hurt child makes all the difference in how much we enjoy our adult life.

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5 Lessons People Learn Too Late In LIfe

7/8/2021

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5 Lessons People Learn Too Late in Life

Never Too Late

While it’s never too late to learn and hopefully we’re doing so throughout our lives, learning some lessons earlier can help us navigate life better.

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6 Signs of High-Functioning PTSD

7/7/2021

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6 Signs of High-Functioning PTSD

Mental Health Awareness

Living with a mental illness is challenging, even if you’re able to function well enough to maintain a job and personal life.

​Thankfully, there are many treatments and supports available.  #mentalhealthawareness


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How to Become Aware of Your Ego

6/26/2021

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How to become aware of your Ego

Who Am I?

That part of us that we call “self” is our ego.

Our ‘ego’ is that part that makes conscious adult decisions, and essentially mediates between the more impulsive child-like part of ourselves (id) and the moralistic parent-like part (superego).

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How to Connect to Your Body

6/20/2021

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How to connect to your body

Body Awareness is Freeing

Returning to your body is the ultimate resource for finding freedom within.

When you’re activated, coming back to your body is a way of grounding yourself.

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RADICAL CHANGE Requires A Mindset Change

6/14/2021

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RADICAL CHANGE REQUIRES A MINDSET CHANGE

Our Mindset Matters

Radical change comes with a radical shift in our mindset.

​Success requires us to take ourselves off autopilot and reflect on the messages we’re telling ourselves that are NOT helpful.


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What is Cognitive Dissonance?

2/3/2021

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Cognitive Dissonance

Internal Battles Are Painful

When we don’t protect ourselves and each other enough during this pandemic we can experience inner conflict.

One side of us wants freedom and connection while the other side desires safety and care.

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Coping Strategies

1/20/2021

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Coping Strategies

Out with the Old & In with the New

There are many coping styles that we use depending on our creativity, resources and early modeling.

It’s crucial that we don’t judge them.

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4 Responses to Trauma

1/9/2021

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4 Responses to Trauma

Trauma Response to Witnessing Events

Witnessing the insurrectionary riot on the US Capitol is traumatic.

Vicarious trauma is when our nervous system responds to seeing or hearing about a traumatic event as if it’s happening to us directly.

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Contact
James Guay (#lmft39252)
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
​for clients residing in the State of California
310-405-0840
james@livingmorefully.com

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8581 Santa Monica Blvd #146
West Hollywood, CA 90069

  • Home
  • Appointments
  • Services
    • Anxiety Therapy
    • Couples Therapy
    • LGBTQ Therapy
    • Mindfulness Therapy
    • Friendship Therapy
    • The James & Heather Show
    • Retreats
  • Biography
  • Testimonials
  • Vlog