Why We Do What We Do
When we find ourselves doing things that ultimately drain us, it’s frequently because we’ve internalized dysfunctional societal expectations.
It can sometimes be difficult to know if we’re in the honeymoon phase of a new exciting relationship or being “love bombed”.
Love bombing is when someone is saying and doing things we’ve always wanted but somehow it seems disingenuous or lacks the depth of experience it would take to get there.
Being Single & Happy
Too often single people are looked down on, excluded and projected onto.
The simple truth is that you can be single and happy, and in a relationship and miserable.
Pathologizing Others Harms Us Too
Labeling other people’s behavior with derogatory and inaccurate terms is harmful for others but also for ourselves.
When we judge others harshly or project our own discomfort onto them, we’re less likely to give ourselves permission to be human and do our own growth.
Awareness is Key to Self-Empowerment
Having a self-absorbed perfectionist for a boss can be a huge headache and even detrimental to our health and well-being in larger ways.
Interacting with them can erode our confidence and sense of reality as we’re constantly mistreated and even blamed for their own failures.
Benefits of Sensitivity & Tenderness
Being sensitive and tender is pathologized in cultures that deem anything considered “feminine” to be less than.
It’s a self-empowering act to rebel against these messages and radically accept ourselves.
We all have legitimate narcissistic needs for love, attention and validation.
When these become extreme and out of control, they come at the expense of anyone around us and are only temporarily met.
Being Curious Instead of Judgmental Of Ourselves
Instead of getting lost in the drama of toxic relationships, it’s a better use of our time to mindfully explore what draws us to them in the first place.
Why Do We Crave Stress?
If we grew up in chaotic homes, we can equate intensity with love and aliveness.
It becomes a security blanket that suffocates our ability to more thoroughly enjoy life.
Internalizing the Critical Parent
When we have a parent or caregiver that’s overly critical of us, we can internalize these messages into adulthood and do it to ourselves.
Instead of judging ourselves for being judgmental, we can use the tool of mindfulness to notice how this impacts us, where it comes from and be curious so that we can begin the process of increasing self-compassion.
It's not worth losing ourselves!
Our mental health matters WAY more than, “Winning the gold!”
When we neglect our mental health in the pursuit of success we put ourselves at risk of losing ourselves in the process. So not worth it!
Recognize Signs of Gaslighting
Have you ever had someone question your reality when even the truth was observable and obvious?
This is likely an example of gaslighting where someone else denies the truth and tries to instill doubt in you.
Britney Spears gave a heartbreaking testimony this week about the abuse and trauma she’s experienced from her multi-year conservatorship.
Recognition of Juneteenth is Progress Forward
I'm thrilled that Juneteenth will now be honored as an official US holiday!
While there is so much more to be done in the fight for social and racial justice, this is one positive and significant step moving forward.