Resolving Conflict Well Increases Intimacy
Avoiding conflict can be detrimental to relationships.
Having and resolving conflict well can lead to greater intimacy.
Spending Our Time Wisely
It’s a self-empowering act to stop chasing people but rather spend our time more wisely with people who value our presence and naturally have time/interest in reciprocating.
Qualities of a True Friend
Good friends show up, care, apologize, invest, and are loyal.
What are qualities you appreciate in your friendships?
How We Respond Matters
Current life events can bring out the worst in others.
How we respond to people being rude has an impact on our emotional health and well-being.
Our Desire for Dating Certainty
Sometimes our desire for certainty in the dating process produces some really poor advice.
Characteristics of Codependency
When we experience being codependent, we miss opportunities for more enjoyable ways of relating.
Striking a balance between independence and autonomy while also having connection and togetherness is not easy to achieve — interdependence.
Words of Support for Depressed Partners
Showing up for our loved ones can be challenging when they’re depressed.
What do we say? How can we help?
Over-Explaining is Often Unconscious
There are often underlying reasons for why we do what we do.
It's Okay to Disappoint Others
Finding the right balance between staying true to ourselves while also recognizing our impact is a tricky thing.
Never Undervalue a Partner That...
Make sure to express appreciation for qualities that your partner has that helps your relationship thrive.
Need for Greater Self-Love
Most of us have experienced the pain of not receiving love back.
Sometimes unrequited love shines a spotlight on our need for greater self-love.
It can sometimes be difficult to know if we’re in the honeymoon phase of a new exciting relationship or being “love bombed”.
Love bombing is when someone is saying and doing things we’ve always wanted but somehow it seems disingenuous or lacks the depth of experience it would take to get there.
Being Single & Happy
Too often single people are looked down on, excluded and projected onto.
The simple truth is that you can be single and happy, and in a relationship and miserable.
Relationships Activate Past Wounds
Our most intimate relationships have a way of activating our past wounds and bringing to light the areas we need to work on.
Know that while relationships can be messy they can still be worth the price of admission.
When Should We Share Something?
There is so much conflict in the world made worse by violent speech.
An antidote to this is sharing mindfully.
Pathologizing Others Harms Us Too
Labeling other people’s behavior with derogatory and inaccurate terms is harmful for others but also for ourselves.
When we judge others harshly or project our own discomfort onto them, we’re less likely to give ourselves permission to be human and do our own growth.
Feed Relationships with Positive Experiences
The Magic Relationship Ratio for stable and happy relationships is 5 positive interactions (or more) for every 1 negative one. (Credit for Research on Magic Ratio: @gottmaninstitute & Robert Levenson)
It can be surprising to hear this but based on our self-protective negativity bias as humans we tend to focus on the negative for longer periods of time.
Apologizing Isn't Always Necessary
Apologies are necessary in relationships but when we overdo it when it’s unnecessary it becomes problematic.
We don’t need to apologize for our existence.
Asking for What We Need
Much of what we actually need is someone to sit with us in our pain and distress.
Too often we jump to problem solving mode and do a psychological bypass over getting to know what ails us.
Having conflict and resolving it well helps build intimacy in relationships.
But there are ways that conflict can be destructive too.
Poor Behaviors Aren't Necessary
Just because we feel strongly about something doesn’t mean we have the right to treat others poorly.
This isn’t about perfection or being robotic, it’s about learning and taking responsibility for our lives
Benefits of Mindful Endings
Being able to gracefully end relationships helps us develop and maintain the skills for satisfying relationships.
Have Reasonable Expectations
Too often we’re told to “Rise Above” or “Be the Bigger Person” in situations where we’re being poorly treated.
This can too easily be misinterpreted that we shouldn’t advocate for ourselves, ask for more or set appropriate boundaries
True Apologies are Necessary for Us All
Apologies are essential in all human relationships.
After all, we are human and mess up at times. That’s how we learn, heal and grow.
Essential Ingredients to Dating
Dating can be extremely frustrating!
It can feel like too many things need to align for a relationship to even begin, let alone blossom.