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Coping with Unrequited Love

11/13/2021

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Coping with Unrequited Love

Need for Greater Self-Love

Most of us have experienced the pain of not receiving love back.

Sometimes unrequited love shines a spotlight on our need for greater self-love.

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Love Bombing Isn't Love

10/25/2021

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Love Bombing Isn't Love

It can sometimes be difficult to know if we’re in the honeymoon phase of a new exciting relationship or being “love bombed”.

Love bombing is when someone is saying and doing things we’ve always wanted but somehow it seems disingenuous or lacks the depth of experience it would take to get there.

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Single People Stigma

10/2/2021

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Single People Stigma

Being Single & Happy

Too often single people are looked down on, excluded and projected onto.

The simple truth is that you can be single and happy, and in a relationship and miserable.

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Love Triggers Us All

10/1/2021

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Love Triggers Us All

Relationships Activate Past Wounds

Our most intimate relationships have a way of activating our past wounds and bringing to light the areas we need to work on.

Know that while relationships can be messy they can still be worth the price of admission.

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Is it True, Kind, Necessary & the Right Timing?

9/29/2021

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Is it true, kind, necessary & the right timing?

When Should We Share Something?

There is so much conflict in the world made worse by violent speech.

An antidote to this is sharing mindfully.

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Don't Use Labels as a Weapon

9/28/2021

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Labels As Weapons

Pathologizing Others Harms Us Too

Labeling other people’s behavior with derogatory and inaccurate terms is harmful for others but also for ourselves.

When we judge others harshly or project our own discomfort onto them, we’re less likely to give ourselves permission to be human and do our own growth.

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5 to 1 Magic Relationship Ratio

9/27/2021

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Feeding Relationships

Feed Relationships with Positive Experiences

The Magic Relationship Ratio for stable and happy relationships is 5 positive interactions (or more) for every 1 negative one. (Credit for Research on Magic Ratio: @gottmaninstitute & Robert Levenson)
​
It can be surprising to hear this but based on our self-protective negativity bias as humans we tend to focus on the negative for longer periods of time.

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Stop Over Apologizing

9/25/2021

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Stop Over Apologizing

Apologizing Isn't Always Necessary

Apologies are necessary in relationships but when we overdo it when it’s unnecessary it becomes problematic.

We don’t need to apologize for our existence.

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Ways to Stop Unsolicited Advice

9/22/2021

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Stopping Unsolicited Advice

Asking for What We Need

Much of what we actually need is someone to sit with us in our pain and distress.

Too often we jump to problem solving mode and do a psychological bypass over getting to know what ails us.

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Fair Fighting Agreements

9/18/2021

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Fair Fighting Agreements

Having conflict and resolving it well helps build intimacy in relationships.

But there are ways that conflict can be destructive too.

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Valid Feelings Don't Justify Poor Behaviors

9/15/2021

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Valid Feelings don't Justify Poor Behaviors

Poor Behaviors Aren't Necessary

Just because we feel strongly about something doesn’t mean we have the right to treat others poorly.

This isn’t about perfection or being robotic, it’s about learning and taking responsibility for our lives

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Instead of ghosting Try this

9/13/2021

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Ghosting Alternatives

Benefits of Mindful Endings

Being able to gracefully end relationships helps us develop and maintain the skills for satisfying relationships.

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Don't Be the Bigger Person

9/12/2021

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Don't Be the Bigger Person

Have Reasonable Expectations

Too often we’re told to “Rise Above” or “Be the Bigger Person” in situations where we’re being poorly treated.

This can too easily be misinterpreted that we shouldn’t advocate for ourselves, ask for more or set appropriate boundaries

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Ingredients of a True Apology

9/9/2021

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Ingredients of a True Apology

True Apologies are Necessary for Us All

Apologies are essential in all human relationships.

After all, we are human and mess up at times. That’s how we learn, heal and grow.

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3 Dating Essentials

9/6/2021

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3 Dating Essentials:  Timing, Availability, Chemistry

Essential Ingredients to Dating

Dating can be extremely frustrating!

It can feel like too many things need to align for a relationship to even begin, let alone blossom.

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What is Emotional Dumping?

8/31/2021

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What is emotional dumping?

Venting versus Dumping

Processing our feelings with trustworthy people can be incredibly helpful.

However, there’s a difference between venting in healthy ways and emotionally dumping.

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Ways to Express Deep Appreciation

8/29/2021

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Ways to Express Deep Appreciation

Words of Affirmation Matter

At the end of the day we all want to be seen and valued for who we REALLY are.

It can be a rare gift to give/receive words of affirmation not just for our appearance or role in life but for our character and how we show up in the world.

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Your Feelings Don't Justify Your Reactions

8/23/2021

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Your Feelings Don't Justify Your Reactions

Get Curious Where Feelings Come From

Just because we’re feeling something — like anger, sadness, or hurt — doesn’t mean that it justifies or excuses our behaviors.

If we’re too quick to react when we’re activated we can make more mistakes.

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Adult Relationships Have Conditions

8/19/2021

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Adult Relationships have Conditions

It's Okay to Have Conditions

Having conditions in adult relationships may not sound very romantic but they’re essential nevertheless.

Conditions and basic expectations help relationships thrive if they’re healthy or end if they’re not working well enough for all parties involved.

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6 Signs You're Dealing with a Narcissist

8/16/2021

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6 signs you're dealing with a narcissist

We all have legitimate narcissistic needs for love, attention and validation.

When these become extreme and out of control, they come at the expense of anyone around us and are only temporarily met.

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Signs You Are Settling

8/13/2021

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Signs You Are Settling

Awareness of Settling is Key

Settling for someone that isn’t a good enough fit is problematic for all involved.

We don’t need to judge them or ourselves as better, simply to acknowledge that the combo isn’t working well enough.

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7 Signs a Person Is Emotionally Unavailable

8/2/2021

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7 Signs that a person is Emotionally Unavailable

Recognizing Signs without Judgment

Recognizing the signs someone is emotionally unavailable frees us up to find the right fit with someone else who is ready for what we want.

We don’t need to pathologize them or us in the process.

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What Do You Need?

8/1/2021

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What do you need?

Needs Matter

We can’t possibly meet ALL of our own needs.

We are ALL interconnected.

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Things to Say to Create Healthy Boundaries

7/30/2021

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Things to Say to Create Healthy Boundaries

Saying No is Essential

One of the essential ways we can set healthier boundaries is by saying no.

Knowing a variety of ways of saying no can help us when it’s especially difficult to do so.

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7 Signs You've Met the One

7/28/2021

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7 Signs You've Met the One

The Grass Isn't Often Greener

With so many options that encourage you to keep looking, it can be challenging to know if you’ve met the right person.

Recognizing when you’ve met the right match gives you the opportunity to more thoroughly enjoy and feed that relationship.

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Contact
James Guay (#lmft39252)
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
​for clients residing in the State of California
310-405-0840
james@livingmorefully.com

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8581 Santa Monica Blvd #146
West Hollywood, CA 90069

  • Home
  • Appointments
  • Services
    • Anxiety Therapy
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    • LGBTQ Therapy
    • Mindfulness Therapy
    • Friendship Therapy
    • The James & Heather Show
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  • Biography
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  • Vlog