 Resolving Conflict Well Increases IntimacyAvoiding conflict can be detrimental to relationships.
Having and resolving conflict well can lead to greater intimacy.
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 Spending Our Time WiselyIt’s a self-empowering act to stop chasing people but rather spend our time more wisely with people who value our presence and naturally have time/interest in reciprocating.
 Our Desire for Dating CertaintySometimes our desire for certainty in the dating process produces some really poor advice.
 Characteristics of CodependencyWhen we experience being codependent, we miss opportunities for more enjoyable ways of relating.
Striking a balance between independence and autonomy while also having connection and togetherness is not easy to achieve — interdependence.  Words of Support for Depressed PartnersShowing up for our loved ones can be challenging when they’re depressed.
What do we say? How can we help?  Childhood Abuse Impacts Us into AdulthoodAn integral part of healing from childhood abuse is recognizing the ways that it impacts us in the present.
 It's Okay to Disappoint OthersFinding the right balance between staying true to ourselves while also recognizing our impact is a tricky thing.
 Never Undervalue a Partner That...Make sure to express appreciation for qualities that your partner has that helps your relationship thrive.
 Need for Greater Self-LoveMost of us have experienced the pain of not receiving love back.
Sometimes unrequited love shines a spotlight on our need for greater self-love.  It can sometimes be difficult to know if we’re in the honeymoon phase of a new exciting relationship or being “love bombed”.
Love bombing is when someone is saying and doing things we’ve always wanted but somehow it seems disingenuous or lacks the depth of experience it would take to get there.  Being Single & HappyToo often single people are looked down on, excluded and projected onto.
The simple truth is that you can be single and happy, and in a relationship and miserable.  Relationships Activate Past WoundsOur most intimate relationships have a way of activating our past wounds and bringing to light the areas we need to work on.
Know that while relationships can be messy they can still be worth the price of admission.  When Should We Share Something?There is so much conflict in the world made worse by violent speech.
An antidote to this is sharing mindfully.  Pathologizing Others Harms Us TooLabeling other people’s behavior with derogatory and inaccurate terms is harmful for others but also for ourselves.
When we judge others harshly or project our own discomfort onto them, we’re less likely to give ourselves permission to be human and do our own growth.  Feed Relationships with Positive ExperiencesThe Magic Relationship Ratio for stable and happy relationships is 5 positive interactions (or more) for every 1 negative one. (Credit for Research on Magic Ratio: @gottmaninstitute & Robert Levenson)
It can be surprising to hear this but based on our self-protective negativity bias as humans we tend to focus on the negative for longer periods of time.  Apologizing Isn't Always NecessaryApologies are necessary in relationships but when we overdo it when it’s unnecessary it becomes problematic.
We don’t need to apologize for our existence.  Asking for What We NeedMuch of what we actually need is someone to sit with us in our pain and distress.
Too often we jump to problem solving mode and do a psychological bypass over getting to know what ails us.  Being Vulnerable is CourageousIt makes us stronger to acknowledge our pain and more likely that we can heal when we do so.
 Having conflict and resolving it well helps build intimacy in relationships.
But there are ways that conflict can be destructive too.  Poor Behaviors Aren't NecessaryJust because we feel strongly about something doesn’t mean we have the right to treat others poorly.
This isn’t about perfection or being robotic, it’s about learning and taking responsibility for our lives  Benefits of Mindful EndingsBeing able to gracefully end relationships helps us develop and maintain the skills for satisfying relationships.
 Have Reasonable ExpectationsToo often we’re told to “Rise Above” or “Be the Bigger Person” in situations where we’re being poorly treated.
This can too easily be misinterpreted that we shouldn’t advocate for ourselves, ask for more or set appropriate boundaries  True Apologies are Necessary for Us AllApologies are essential in all human relationships.
After all, we are human and mess up at times. That’s how we learn, heal and grow.  Self-Reflection Doesn't Always Include ChangingWe cannot please everyone.
Sometimes our actions, words or beliefs make other people feel uncomfortable. |
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