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Fake Apologies Harm Relationships

3/6/2022

1 Comment

 
Fake Apologies Harm Relationships

Fake Apologies Create Distance in Relationships

Fake apologies are problematic in multiple ways, including:
  • It communicates that we prioritize our ego & being right over the relationship
  • It sends a message that the other person’s experience doesn’t matter or impact us
  • It can gaslight the other person into believing they’re actually wrong, overly sensitive, or are overreacting in some way.
  • It lacks empathy (understanding and care) for the other person
Faux apologies communicate we more about being right.
Fake Apologies Harm Relationships
Fake apologies try to convince the other person that they're deserving of our behaviors.
Fake Apologies Harm Relationships

Fake Apologies Sound Like:

Fake Apologies Harm Relationships
"I'm sorry if you felt hurt."
Fake Apologies Harm Relationships
"I'm sorry but..."
Fake Apologies Harm Relationships
​"I'm sorry but you're over-reacting."
Fake Apologies Harm Relationships
"I'm sorry that you feel that way."
Fake Apologies Harm Relationships

Real Apologies:

  • Take responsibility
  • Express regret
  • Express empathy
  • Commit to not repeating the offense
Ingredients of a Real Apology
  • Actually include the words, "I'm sorry..." without conditions or a "but..."
  • Follow through with corrective actions
  • Offer to make amends
Ingredients of a Real Apology
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1 Comment
relationship counseling link
11/17/2022 06:29:39 am

When we apologize, we are acknowledging our wrong-doing and trying to make amends. A fake apology, on the other hand, is insincere and does nothing to improve the situation. In fact, it can make things worse. If you've hurt someone and you're truly sorry, a genuine apology is the best way to repair the damage. But if you're not really sorry, or you're only sorry because you got caught, a fake apology will only make things worse. The other person will see right through it and feel even more hurt and resentful.

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