Fake Apologies Harm Relationships

3/6/2022

1 Comment

Fake Apologies Create Distance in Relationships

Fake apologies are problematic in multiple ways, including:

It communicates that we prioritize our ego & being right over the relationship
It sends a message that the other person’s experience doesn’t matter or impact us
It can gaslight the other person into believing they’re actually wrong, overly sensitive, or are overreacting in some way.
It lacks empathy (understanding and care) for the other person

Faux apologies communicate we more about being right.

Fake apologies try to convince the other person that they're deserving of our behaviors.

Fake Apologies Sound Like:

"I'm sorry if you felt hurt."

"I'm sorry but..."

"I'm sorry but you're over-reacting."

"I'm sorry that you feel that way."

Real Apologies:

Take responsibility
Express regret
Express empathy
Commit to not repeating the offense

Actually include the words, "I'm sorry..." without conditions or a "but..."
Follow through with corrective actions
Offer to make amends

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relationship counseling link

11/17/2022 06:29:39 am

When we apologize, we are acknowledging our wrong-doing and trying to make amends. A fake apology, on the other hand, is insincere and does nothing to improve the situation. In fact, it can make things worse. If you've hurt someone and you're truly sorry, a genuine apology is the best way to repair the damage. But if you're not really sorry, or you're only sorry because you got caught, a fake apology will only make things worse. The other person will see right through it and feel even more hurt and resentful.