Asserting Core Relationship Needs

3/31/2022

Challenges in Asking for What We Need

Our core relationship needs — for things like quality time, validation, empathy, variety, an apology, and boundaries — are often challenging to address.

What do we say? How do we assert our needs by making requests, not demands?

Knowing and asserting our needs well in relationship is challenging to do.

It's critical to make requests, not demands, in asserting our needs.

Examples of Asserting Our Core Needs:

"Can we talk? I have something important I need to share."

"Can we have a date night? I miss having quality time with you."

"I need to hear that you understand and care about my feelings."

"I need you to take responsibility and apologize."

"Can we talk about our sexual relationship? I need more variety."

"I enjoy being with you and I also need some alone time and time with friends/family."

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1 Comment

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11/12/2022 10:54:59 pm

Asserting core relationship needs is vital to maintaining a healthy, fulfilling relationship. When one or both partners feel like their needs are not being met, it can lead to resentment, frustration, and even anger. If you're not sure what your core needs are, ask yourself what you need to feel loved, respected, and supported in the relationship. Once you know what your needs are, communicate them to your partner and work together to find ways to meet them. Don't be afraid to ask for what you need, and be willing to compromise when necessary. By assertively communicating your needs, you can build a stronger, more satisfying relationship.