How to Respond to Passive-Aggressive Communication

Leading with Compassion Isn't Easy

Passive-aggressive communication can be extremely frustrating to receive and challenging to address.

Leading with compassion and curiosity allows us the freedom to name it while also not getting hooked in perpetuating this communication style.

This takes much practice and kindness when we predictably fail in the process.

Passive-aggressive communication is an intentional and covert way to express anger.

When we're afraid to express our anger directly we can resort to passive-aggressive behaviors to continue denying our underlying anger.

Being aware of passive-aggressive communication is the first step in addressing it.

Examples of Passive-Aggressive Behaviors:

• Using the silent treatment
• Denying anger by responding with "I'm fine" or "Whatever"
• Intentionally being obstructive while appearing cooperative
• Procrastinating or giving minimal effort

When anger is expressed indirectly and denied it's extremely challenging to resolve cover conflict.

1.  Recognize their passive-aggressive communication and notice our own internal response with compassion.

2.  Acknowledge their underlying anger without getting trapped in trying to get them to admit it.

3.  Ask them to express their feelings and needs more directly.

4.  Avoid taking the bait and instead name their underlying anger each time.

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