 Relationships Activate Past WoundsOur most intimate relationships have a way of activating our past wounds and bringing to light the areas we need to work on.
Know that while relationships can be messy they can still be worth the price of admission.
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 Living Our Most Authentic Lives MattersOne of the questions I get asked the most as a therapist is, “Am I normal?”
Underneath this question is often a desire to fit in, to belong, and to know that we’re not alone.  More Compassion, Less StigmaWe’ve received so many messed up messages about food, eating, and our bodies that we can internalize these messages in harmful ways.
Instead of pathologizing and discriminating against diverse bodies, let’s appreciate all the colors of the body rainbow.  Imposter Syndrome Can Bring Growing PainsOne of my most memorable experiences feeling “Imposter Syndrome” was walking down the hallway of my new therapy office to greet my first client ever in private practice almost 22 years ago.
Feeling the anxiety of intense self-doubt can be paralyzing but it also can be the result of growing pains.  Toxic Positivity is a Psychological BypassWhen we deny anything considered “negative” in our lives and turn everything into a positive, we limit our natural experiences in life and we become less authentic.
Toxic positivity is fake positivity that becomes a psychological bypass over anything uncomfortable.  Healing Comes With Progress & Set BacksHealing is often a slow and steady process with plenty of setbacks.
That’s perfectly okay.  How We Use Our Time MattersWe don’t automatically heal or gain wisdom with the passing of time.
It’s how we use our lived experiences that gives us that.  Self-Criticism Often Leads to Repeat BehaviorsWe believe that if we punish ourselves for past behaviors, that we’ll be less likely to repeat them.
Unfortunately, the opposite is true.  Awareness is Key to Self-EmpowermentHaving a self-absorbed perfectionist for a boss can be a huge headache and even detrimental to our health and well-being in larger ways.
Interacting with them can erode our confidence and sense of reality as we’re constantly mistreated and even blamed for their own failures.  Replacing Self-Judgment with Self-CompassionOur “Inner Child” represents that part of ourselves that is playful, creative and yet has also been hurt.
Instead of kicking ourselves when we’re down, we can learn to console ourselves with encouragement and love.  Finding Balance with Our Feelings“Feeling our feelings” can be taken to an extreme where we’re doing it 24/7.
This is about striking the right balance between overindulging & ruminating on one side and denying or ignoring on the other.  Taking Action Can Bring InsightHaving insight is certainly helpful but it’s not necessary for change.
Knowing ourselves is a life-long journey where we learn how to navigate life well.  Thoughts are Just ThoughtsYou are NOT what you think!
Actually, all of us have 1000’s of thoughts per day, some of them that repeat.  Benefits of Sensitivity & TendernessBeing sensitive and tender is pathologized in cultures that deem anything considered “feminine” to be less than.
It’s a self-empowering act to rebel against these messages and radically accept ourselves.  Kindness is a Powerful Tool for ChangeBeing kind is too often mistaken for being nice, passive or a pushover.
Instead, kindness is a powerful tool for change.  We Can Have Internal Resolution without ForgivenessWhile forgiveness is useful for minor offenses in ongoing relationships it isn’t a requirement for healing larger-scale abuses.
We too often are too quick to forgive as a way of trying to avoid the pain of what it actually takes to do so.  Get Curious Where Feelings Come FromJust because we’re feeling something — like anger, sadness, or hurt — doesn’t mean that it justifies or excuses our behaviors.
If we’re too quick to react when we’re activated we can make more mistakes.  What is the Inner Critic?Our Inner Critic is that part of ourselves that judges us no matter what we say or do.
It operates to protect us from rejection, embarrassment and failure but does so in a way that causes us harm.  Why Do We Crave Stress?If we grew up in chaotic homes, we can equate intensity with love and aliveness.
It becomes a security blanket that suffocates our ability to more thoroughly enjoy life.  Triggers are Part of the Healing ProcessThe word “triggers” has been popularized to mean any kind of discomfort or stressor in life.
 Internalizing the Critical ParentWhen we have a parent or caregiver that’s overly critical of us, we can internalize these messages into adulthood and do it to ourselves.
Instead of judging ourselves for being judgmental, we can use the tool of mindfulness to notice how this impacts us, where it comes from and be curious so that we can begin the process of increasing self-compassion.  It's not worth losing ourselves!Our mental health matters WAY more than, “Winning the gold!”
When we neglect our mental health in the pursuit of success we put ourselves at risk of losing ourselves in the process. So not worth it!  Saying No is EssentialOne of the essential ways we can set healthier boundaries is by saying no.
Knowing a variety of ways of saying no can help us when it’s especially difficult to do so.  Urgency Culture Leads to Burn OutWe’re living in a society that demands that we’re in a constant state of urgency.
Recognizing this auto-pilot way of doing things gives us a pause to shift our pace so we can slow down and choose differently. |
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