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Self-Criticism Stalls Healing

9/17/2021

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Self-Criticism Stalls Healing

Self-Criticism Often Leads to Repeat Behaviors

We believe that if we punish ourselves for past behaviors, that we’ll be less likely to repeat them.

Unfortunately, the opposite is true.

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Signs Your Boss is a Narcissist

9/16/2021

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Signs Your Boss is a Narcissist

Awareness is Key to Self-Empowerment

Having a self-absorbed perfectionist for a boss can be a huge headache and even detrimental to our health and well-being in larger ways.

Interacting with them can erode our confidence and sense of reality as we’re constantly mistreated and even blamed for their own failures.

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Caring for Your Inner Child

9/14/2021

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Caring for Your Inner Child

Replacing Self-Judgment with Self-Compassion

Our “Inner Child” represents that part of ourselves that is playful, creative and yet has also been hurt.

Instead of kicking ourselves when we’re down, we can learn to console ourselves with encouragement and love.

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It's okay to Take a Break from Feeling

9/11/2021

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It's okay to take a break from feeling

Finding Balance with Our Feelings

“Feeling our feelings” can be taken to an extreme where we’re doing it 24/7.

This is about striking the right balance between overindulging & ruminating on one side and denying or ignoring on the other.

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Insight is Not Essential for Change

9/10/2021

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Insight is NOT necessary for change

Taking Action Can Bring Insight

Having insight is certainly helpful but it’s not necessary for change.

Knowing ourselves is a life-long journey where we learn how to navigate life well.

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You Are NOT What You Think

9/7/2021

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You are NOT what you think

Thoughts are Just Thoughts

You are NOT what you think!

Actually, all of us have 1000’s of thoughts per day, some of them that repeat.

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Sensitivity & Tenderness Give Us Life

9/5/2021

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Sensitive & Tenderness give us life

Benefits of Sensitivity & Tenderness

Being sensitive and tender is pathologized in cultures that deem anything considered “feminine” to be less than.

It’s a self-empowering act to rebel against these messages and radically accept ourselves.

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Don't Mistake Kindness for A Lack of Boundaries

9/4/2021

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Don't mistake kindness for lack of boundaries

Kindness is a Powerful Tool for Change

Being kind is too often mistaken for being nice, passive or a pushover.

Instead, kindness is a powerful tool for change.

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Forgiveness isn't Required for Healing

8/26/2021

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Forgiveness isn't required for healing

We Can Have Internal Resolution without Forgiveness

While forgiveness is useful for minor offenses in ongoing relationships it isn’t a requirement for healing larger-scale abuses.

We too often are too quick to forgive as a way of trying to avoid the pain of what it actually takes to do so.

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Your Feelings Don't Justify Your Reactions

8/23/2021

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Your Feelings Don't Justify Your Reactions

Get Curious Where Feelings Come From

Just because we’re feeling something — like anger, sadness, or hurt — doesn’t mean that it justifies or excuses our behaviors.

If we’re too quick to react when we’re activated we can make more mistakes.

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Ways to Respond to Your Inner Critic

8/12/2021

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Ways to respond to your Inner Critic

What is the Inner Critic?

Our Inner Critic is that part of ourselves that judges us no matter what we say or do.

It operates to protect us from rejection, embarrassment and failure but does so in a way that causes us harm.

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Are You Craving Stress?

8/10/2021

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Are You Craving Stress?

Why Do We Crave Stress?

If we grew up in chaotic homes, we can equate intensity with love and aliveness.

It becomes a security blanket that suffocates our ability to more thoroughly enjoy life.

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Our Triggers are our Teachers

8/9/2021

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Our Triggers are our Teachers

Triggers are Part of the Healing Process

The word “triggers” has been popularized to mean any kind of discomfort or stressor in life.

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Impact of an Overly Critical Parent

8/4/2021

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Impact of an Overly Critical Parent

Internalizing the Critical Parent

When we have a parent or caregiver that’s overly critical of us, we can internalize these messages into adulthood and do it to ourselves.

Instead of judging ourselves for being judgmental, we can use the tool of mindfulness to notice how this impacts us, where it comes from and be curious so that we can begin the process of increasing self-compassion.

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Mental Health Matters More Than Winning The Gold

8/3/2021

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Mental Health Matters More than

It's not worth losing ourselves!

Our mental health matters WAY more than, “Winning the gold!”

When we neglect our mental health in the pursuit of success we put ourselves at risk of losing ourselves in the process. So not worth it!

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What Do You Need?

8/1/2021

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What do you need?

Needs Matter

We can’t possibly meet ALL of our own needs.

We are ALL interconnected.

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Things to Say to Create Healthy Boundaries

7/30/2021

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Things to Say to Create Healthy Boundaries

Saying No is Essential

One of the essential ways we can set healthier boundaries is by saying no.

Knowing a variety of ways of saying no can help us when it’s especially difficult to do so.

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What Urgency Culture Looks Like

7/29/2021

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Urgency Culture Description

Urgency Culture Leads to Burn Out

We’re living in a society that demands that we’re in a constant state of urgency.

Recognizing this auto-pilot way of doing things gives us a pause to shift our pace so we can slow down and choose differently.

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Why Am I Drawn to Unavailable People?

7/26/2021

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Why am I drawn to unavailable people?

Exploring our Blind Spots

If we want to be in a long term relationship but keep finding ourselves with someone who isn’t available, it’s likely there’s something unconscious going on.

The more we can be curious, instead of judgmental, the more we can look at our blind spots to increase self-awareness about this dynamic and make subsequent changes.

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What Is Codependency?

7/19/2021

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What is Codependency?

Codependency Definition

Codependency is when we live our lives through over-identifying with others feelings, beliefs, and needs to the point where we lose our sense of self.

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Attend to Your Inner Hurt Child

7/16/2021

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Don't Let Your Hurt Child Run Your Adult Life

Don't Let Your Hurt Child Run Your Adult Life

How we show up for our hurt child makes all the difference in how much we enjoy our adult life.

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How to Reparent Yourself

7/11/2021

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How to Reparent Yourself

6 Steps to Reparenting Yourself

The concept of reparenting yourself may seem odd but can be so instrumental in your process of healing, growth and enjoyment of life.

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Signs You're Healing

7/10/2021

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Signs You're Healing

Feeling Satisfaction with Progress

Feeling a sense of satisfaction by our progress to date is a sign of healing.  Here are some others.

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5 Lessons People Learn Too Late In LIfe

7/8/2021

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5 Lessons People Learn Too Late in Life

Never Too Late

While it’s never too late to learn and hopefully we’re doing so throughout our lives, learning some lessons earlier can help us navigate life better.

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6 Signs of High-Functioning PTSD

7/7/2021

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6 Signs of High-Functioning PTSD

Mental Health Awareness

Living with a mental illness is challenging, even if you’re able to function well enough to maintain a job and personal life.

​Thankfully, there are many treatments and supports available.  #mentalhealthawareness


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Contact
James Guay (#lmft39252)
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
​for clients residing in the State of California
310-405-0840
james@livingmorefully.com

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8581 Santa Monica Blvd #146
West Hollywood, CA 90069

  • Home
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    • Anxiety Therapy
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    • The James & Heather Show
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