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Forgiveness isn't Required for Healing

8/26/2021

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Forgiveness isn't required for healing

We Can Have Internal Resolution without Forgiveness

While forgiveness is useful for minor offenses in ongoing relationships it isn’t a requirement for healing larger-scale abuses.

We too often are too quick to forgive as a way of trying to avoid the pain of what it actually takes to do so.
Healing requires doing our internal work to reach some level of resolution that doesn’t require the participation or involvement of an abuser.
We can reach internal resolution without forgiving the unforgivable.
Forgiveness isn't required for healing
Our healing isn't dependent on our perpetrator.
Forgiveness isn't required for healing
The mass acceptance of forgiveness as essential to healing comes from a misinterpreted Judeo-Christian belief.
Forgiveness isn't required for healing
Forgiveness has been weaponized to place undue and misplaced responsibility on victims.
Forgiveness isn't required for healing
Those responsible for harm need to apologize, stop the behaviors, and make amends, whether forgiveness occurs or not.
Forgiveness isn't required for healing
Even if forgiveness is sometimes a natural byproduct of restorative justice, it doesn't require future contact or an ongoing relationship.
Forgiveness isn't required for healing
True forgiveness cannot be forced or used as a spiritual or psychological bypass over the pain.
Forgiveness isn't required for healing
Recognizing that we didn't deserve to be harmed, expressing ourselves and receiving support are much more essential characteristics to healing.
Forgiveness isn't required for healing
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