Watch for Red Flags
There are several warning signs that our relationships need work to become healthier, need outside help — couples therapy — or need to end.
What signs show you that it’s no longer working, if it ever did?
1. They refuse to have intimate conversations
If they shut down, change the subject or refuse to talk to you about issues in your relationship, this prevents you all from addressing missed needs and growing together.
2. You are constantly worried they will abandon you
If any of you threaten to leave the relationship during conflict as leverage to regain power or control, this creates instability and mistrust in your relationship.
3. Their future plans seldomly include you
If after months/years together they talk about their future in ways that never include you, this can be a sign of disinterest, lack of commitment or fear of investment.
4. You spend most of your time apologizing
If they criticize you for everything you do or you apologize too frequently for just being human, this can lead to a decreased sense of self needed in relationships.
5. Your efforts are not reciprocated
If you are constantly giving in the relationship but not receiving anything in return, this imbalance can create expectations and resentments that aren’t healthy for anyone.
6. They prioritize others over spending time with you
If they consistently invest more time/attention with others and neglect having quality time with you, this can starve your relationship from the nutrients it needs to thrive.
7. Their needs become the focus of your relationship
If your needs aren’t getting met and with enough balance throughout the relationship, this imbalance can lead to resentments and disconnection.
8. They make excuses for behaviors that hurt you
If they never apologize, make excuses or refuse to acknowledge their impact, this can demonstrate a lack of empathy & responsibility needed in healthier relationships.