Knowing When to End FriendshipsSometimes we hold on to friendships too long and sometimes we end them too soon.
Knowing why friendships become problematic can help us understand if there’s something we can do to make them better or if it’s time to walk away.
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Loneliness is Feeling Profound DisconnectionWe can feel deep loneliness whether we’re surrounded by people or not.
It can get even worse with forced isolation. Competing Needs for Autonomy versus ConnectionWe all have needs for independence/autonomy AND connectedness/togetherness.
These can feel like competing forces but when we integrate them in healthier ways, we experience interdependency. Work Friendships Are ComplicatedWork friendships are often complicated with competing personal and professional needs.
We need to recognize the signs when they become toxic so that we can limit our contact or set stronger boundaries. Neglecting Ourselves to Protect OurselvesWhen life is especially painful and challenging we can lose ourselves in the process.
It’s often a defense to protect ourselves. Missing Out on Expressing Ourselves FullyWhen relationships end we often look back with regret about not expressing ourselves fully.
We may not have been given the opportunity to say what we needed to or we may have limited ourselves. Take a Time Out When NeededWhile we may have an urgency to resolve conflict, when things escalate too far it’s much more likely that we won’t do it well.
Instead, we need to take a break — at least 20-25 minutes — and come back at it when we’re more capable of thinking clearly. Scapegoats See the Family DysfunctionHave you felt like a lone wolf in your family that gets a lot of pressure to blend in?
Being the family scapegoat is a challenging position to be in but also gives greater freedom to chart our own course. Resolving Conflict Well Increases IntimacyAvoiding conflict can be detrimental to relationships.
Having and resolving conflict well can lead to greater intimacy. Good Enough is EnoughGiving ourselves the grace of “good enough” is a gift that keeps on giving.
The irony is that we’re often able to do/be better than we otherwise would in chasing the mythical place of perfection. Spending Our Time WiselyIt’s a self-empowering act to stop chasing people but rather spend our time more wisely with people who value our presence and naturally have time/interest in reciprocating.
Qualities of a True FriendGood friends show up, care, apologize, invest, and are loyal.
What are qualities you appreciate in your friendships? Coming Back to the PresentIt’s easy to “future trip” when our present is already so challenging.
Instead of worrying about a future that may never come to fruition, coming back to the present moment and cultivating moments of playfulness, pleasure, connection and gratitude is the antidote. Why We Lose Our ChildhoodWhen we’re forced to grow up too fast, we still have childlike needs that need to be met in adulthood.
Understanding what caused us to lose our childhood and ways to reparent ourselves in adulthood is the beginning. How We Respond MattersCurrent life events can bring out the worst in others.
How we respond to people being rude has an impact on our emotional health and well-being. Why We Do What We DoWhen we find ourselves doing things that ultimately drain us, it’s frequently because we’ve internalized dysfunctional societal expectations.
Our Desire for Dating CertaintySometimes our desire for certainty in the dating process produces some really poor advice.
Caring for Our Inner ChildNo one has a “perfect” childhood but the need to reparent ourselves is especially critical when our needs were consistently unmet.
Childhood wounds can interrupt our lives into adulthood but thankfully we can still learn, heal and grow. Finding the Right BalanceAnything taken to an extreme can become problematic.
We don’t need to attend to all feelings and all thoughts. Core Values Connects Us to What MattersWhen we’re connected to our life’s purpose and prioritize this in our daily lives, we live more fully.
Characteristics of CodependencyWhen we experience being codependent, we miss opportunities for more enjoyable ways of relating.
Striking a balance between independence and autonomy while also having connection and togetherness is not easy to achieve — interdependence. Words of Support for Depressed PartnersShowing up for our loved ones can be challenging when they’re depressed.
What do we say? How can we help? Childhood Abuse Impacts Us into AdulthoodAn integral part of healing from childhood abuse is recognizing the ways that it impacts us in the present.
Over-Explaining is Often UnconsciousThere are often underlying reasons for why we do what we do.
It's Okay to Disappoint OthersFinding the right balance between staying true to ourselves while also recognizing our impact is a tricky thing.
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