It’s not enough to know what kind of friends you want to make, you also need to put yourself out there in situations where you’re more likely to meet them over time. Where are you most likely to meet the kind of friends you want to have? Give yourself time to brainstorm here too.
Having good solid friendships deepens our experience of life. They help us combat depression, anxiety and loneliness while also encouraging us to be our most authentic self, to let our hair down and let our freak-flag fly. AND they shine a light on the kind of friendship we want out of our long-term romantic/sexual relationships.
So why is it sometimes so hard to make new friends or maintain the ones we already have?
Have you ever gotten in an argument with a loved one and regretted things you said or did, after-the-fact? Are you frustrated with how volatile your relationship is at times or conversely, are you avoiding conflict at all costs?
One of the most important aspects of improving relationships is developing better listening skills. When we feel heard, valued and cared for we develop greater intimacy with others.
Most couples come in to therapy interested in improving the way they communicate with each other and resolve conflict. Some couples have high conflict while others are conflict avoidant. In either case, learning to speak more effectively can dramatically improve the health of your relationship(s).